


Things Poe Dameron is Not Allowed to Do in the Resistance

by Vita_sine_fantasy_mors_est



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: A-Wing(s), CR-90 Corvette (Star Wars), Don't dare Poe to do things: he will, Droids, Gen, Listicle, Lots of alcohol, Mentioned Ben Solo | Kylo Ren - Freeform, Mentioned Han Solo, Mentioned Leia Organa, Mentioned Luke Skywalker, Millennium Falcon - Freeform, POV Third Person, Poe Dameron Being a Little Shit, Poe Dameron is a hot mess, Resistance version, Skippy's List, X-Wing(s), Y-wing(s), pilot antics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-14
Updated: 2020-07-14
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:09:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25254373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vita_sine_fantasy_mors_est/pseuds/Vita_sine_fantasy_mors_est
Summary: Skippy's List, Resistance style, or more specifically, Poe Dameron style- with commentary from Commander Dameron himself
Comments: 10
Kudos: 31
Collections: Unconventional Fanwork Exchange 2020





	Things Poe Dameron is Not Allowed to Do in the Resistance

**Author's Note:**

  * For [inquisitor_tohru](https://archiveofourown.org/users/inquisitor_tohru/gifts).



> Hi inquisitor_tohru! I hope you like this! It's a bit rough around the edges (and is the first thing I've written in ages), but I'm proud of it, and it was one of the rare ones where I actually ended up writing the original idea I had instead of changing my mind at least twice. 
> 
> Thanks to Elsinor for brainstorming help, contributing several of the list items and helping me with tagging and to Amiril for brainstorming help and also contributing several of the list items!

List of things Poe Dameron is not allowed to do in the Resistance:

  1. Die
  2. Get captured by the First Order, again 
    1. Update from Poe Dameron: I wasn't trying to the first time!
  3. Intentionally antagonize any First Order ship or officer via radio 
    1. Unless specifically authorized to do so in writing before leaving base
  4. Borrow another pilot's X-wing without permission to get around not being allowed in his at that point in time 
    1. Borrow a Y-wing without proper authorization and permission from the pilot
    2. Borrow an A-wing, pursuant to the same conditions as above
    3. Borrow any starfighter without authorization
    4. Borrow a CR-90 Corvette or other ship without authorization
      1. Update from Poe Dameron: Sometimes it's essential for the mission!
  5. Approach a Resistance base in a TIE-fighter, First Order Cruiser, or other stolen First Order ship without giving enough time for all relevant defense personnel to be given the all-clear 
    1. Update from Poe Dameron: Have you ever tried slowing down or stopping a damaged ship quickly, really?!
  6. Take the Millennium Falcon for a ride 
    1. Attempt to convince anyone, particularly new recruits, to help him borrow the Millennium Falcon
  7. Drink all the Corellian ale
  8. Convince any new pilots that they have to do shots and then a task assigned to them as a final recruitment test 
    1. Convince any new recruits of same
  9. Instigate a competition among Black Squadron to see who can drink the most while standing on top of an X-wing without falling off
  10. Teach any new recruits any 'polite phrases' in any language other than Galactic Basic 
    1. Update from Poe Dameron: Hey I didn't know that some of those were dirty when I shared them!
  11. Convince any new recruits that there is a long running competition among the pilots for who can kiss the the most members of other species 
    1. Convince any new recruits that a ‘top 3 most species kissed’ list exists
      1. Update from Poe Dameron: There is _and I'm winning_
    2. Make a version of this list
  12. Punch someone for calling General Organa “Princess” 
    1. Update from Poe Dameron: But C3-PO gets a pass!
  13. Insult any Resistance Officer in public 
    1. Even if they deserve it
    2. Update from Poe Dameron: I think whoever wrote this list is going to have to clarify what is meant by 'Resistance Officer' and 'public'
  14. Show the fake recruitment holo Black Squadron made to anyone 
    1. Update from Poe Dameron: You have to admit it is hilarious!
  15. Use explosives for any recreational purpose 
    1. Update from Poe Dameron: It was one time and we didn't mean to make such a large boom!
  16. Send anyone on a wild mynock chase 
    1. Metaphorically or literally
      1. Update from Poe Dameron: It is unfortunately an ancient and esteemed pilot tradition
  17. Convince new recruits that time travel is real
  18. Invent daring feats or achievements that you or the other pilots have supposedly done
  19. Participate in a drinking competition with Han Solo 
    1. Update from Poe Dameron: It just sort of happened, it wasn't intentional
  20. Program any droids to make Vader Breathing sounds when General Organa is mad
  21. No longer allowed to describe Luke Skywalker's protein shakes as "tiddy milk"
  22. Ask Luke Skywalker again what a "Sarlacc" is and how it can still be alive if it's like 100 years later 
    1. Update from Poe Dameron: Found out about what the Sarlacc is. Should have just stopped asking first.
  23. Try to fix the Millennium Falcon. 
    1. Even when it needs it
    2. Especially when it needs it.
  24. Shove Ben Solo in a smuggling compartment. Again.
  25. Celebrate Life Day by burning effigies of Kylo Ren
  26. Start a prank war with a Force user 
    1. Start a prank war with anyone
      1. Update: Commander Dameron is allowed to finish prank wars, provided he does it quickly
  27. Teach Mouse Droids dance formations
  28. Play "catch" with priceless Alderaanian artifacts
  29. Spread a rumor that he is galactic royalty
  30. Convince First Order defectors that he has the Force 
    1. Convince anyone that he has the Force




End file.
